Of Hoodwinked Mistletoe and Sadistic Fun
by Aqua-Faerie
Summary: Ah, it's Christmas time, and the Weasley twins have hatched a particularly dastard prank...they've hoodwinked the mistletoe to ensnare two unsuspecting victims at a time, holding them until they kiss. Set during Ootp. SSNT, RWHG, ADMM


Of Hoodwinked Mistletoe and Sadistic Fun

A/N:

I plan on this being a series of one shots, with each chapter being a different pairing under the mistletoe...tentatively to be Snape/Tonks, Ron/Hermione, Dumbledore/McGonagall, and possibly more...though I'm not averse to suggestions!

Also, I do not own Harry Potter, I just happen to have an unhealthy obsession with a certain Severus Snape...

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Fred Weasley was looking up at the ceiling, a wide grin on his face.

"Oy, Fred, what're you doing?"

Fred's grin, if possible, got wider. "I've set it up, Georgie-boy—Our Mistletoe creation. This is going to be our best Christmas yet."

Now, George as smiling too. "You know, Fred, I think so, too"

SSSSSSSSSSSSS

The twins conjured two chairs and sat themselves down in a position where they could see the following events unfold. Fred drummed his fingers together, his grin still growing strong. "Now all we have to do is wait..."

"Are you sure you won't stay for dinner, Severus?" Molly asked.

Snape's eyes narrowed as though assessing for an ulterior motive. "I'm sure."

_"_But it's _Christmas _time." Molly almost pleaded.

This time Snape could see the pity in her eyes. It irked him to no end. "I prefer not to mix with ex-convicts and idiots any longer than absolutely necessary."

"Well, fine then." Molly glared at him angrily. Snape sneered in satisfaction. He hated pity.

"I'll see myself out."

"Go on then," Molly shooed, clearly chagrined.

Snape walked towards the door, his jet-black robes billowing behind them.

"Hey, wait a sec!"

Snape whirled around to identify the source of the voice.

Tonks made her way towards him, her hair a brilliant bubblegum pink. "Wotcher, Severus. I'll come with you."

Snape raised an eyebrow. "Come with me...where, Nymphadora?"

Tonks rolled her eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you to call me Tonks? And I'm on duty for the Order tonight, too. I meant I'd follow you outside."

Snape's customary sneer reappeared. "Since you are no longer a student of mine, it is quite unnecessary to refer to you by solely your surname, and I will not hide the fact that I find such a request rather asinine. But then, I can't say I'm surprised...as it is coming from you." He continued to head towards the door, leaving Tonks momentarily stunned a few feet behind.

Tonks blinked. "Hey!" She suddenly yelled, and jogged to catch up with him. "That was just _mean_!"

"My, your vocabulary is quite--" Snape never got to finish his sentence. He was cut short by the fact that he could no longer move forward.

"Quite what? Ow!" Tonks slammed into what appeared to be an invisible force-field. "What the hell?"

Open-palmed, Snape braced his hands against the field. He traced the outside with his hands.

"What're you doing?"

"I'm trying to see how far this thing extends." He muttered gruffly. "It looks to be about three feet by three feet."

"Fabulous." Tonks breathed. "Well I'm breaking through it." She took her wand out of her pocket. "Impedimenta!"

"No!" Snape yelled, but it was too late. The spell began to ricochet across the walls, a speedy red blur, until it caught the both of them square in the chest.

They both fell backwards, against the opposite side of the wall.

"Idiot." Snape grumbled as he got up, wincing. "There's a protective charm around it. Any spells we attempt will rebound."

"Well I didn't know!" Tonks countered, slowly getting up.

"If you'd let me _finish," _He hissed, "I could've told you."

"I wasn't aware that you weren't finished." Tonks crossed her arms. "So anyway, how do we get out of here?"

"If I knew, do you not think I would be out of this ridiculous box right now?"

"Fabulous." Tonks reiterated. She paused a moment, considering something, and then... "HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN A BOX WITH SNAPE!!!!!"

Snape closed his eyes and placed his thumb and forefinger on his forehead. "And now I have a headache," He grumbled.

Tonks' shouting, however, received its desired affect, as the entire household had come to Tonks' aid.

"What's going on here?" Molly asked.

"We're _trapped_!" Tonks exclaimed.

"In what?" Ron asked. "It just looks as though the two of you are standing there!"

"It must be invisible, Ron." Hermione said irritably.

"Uh-oh..."

Snape pressed himself to the very edge to glare at his audience. "'Uh-oh?'" His voice was dangerously low. "Who said 'uh-oh'?"

Fred and George pushed themselves out to the front. "Sorry, Tonks." Fred looked at her apologetically. "We didn't mean for you to get stuck with him..."  
"What do you mean 'stuck' with?" Tonks asked suspiciously.

George pointed to the ceiling right above them.

Tonks and Snape, and just about everyone else traced the path and looked to where George was pointing. "Mistletoe," Tonks breathed.

"We, uh..._hoodwinked_ the mistletoe," George explained, his cheeks reddening.

"When two people walk under it at the same time," Fred continued, "They get trapped, until..."

"...Until they kiss," George finished lamely.

"_WHAT?!" _Snape's face had gone almost pure white. The look in his eyes was murderous.

"Well you made this thing," Tonks cried, "You get us out!"  
"We can't!" Fred exclaimed, looking increasingly embarrassed. "The only way is for the two of you to kiss!"

Sirius glared down at them. "There is _no _way that that greasy-haired git is laying one on someone in my family!"

"I assure you," Snape said coolly, "That I don't have the faintest desire to do so."

"Neither do _I_!" Tonks yelled, making a face. "What a disgusting prank!"

"FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY!" Exclaimed Molly. "This is a new low for you! If I have my way I will see to it that you _never _prank again in this household! You come with me right now—I am searching your rooms for any more little jokes you may have in store!"

"Aw, Mum!" Fred exclaimed, but followed her towards his room.

Molly turned to face Tonks and Snape once again. "I am sorry, dear." She told Tonks, looking meaningfully towards Snape.

"Bloody hell!" Ron said, "This is the worst thing Fred and George have ever pulled. Poor Tonks. I can't believe she has to kiss...that _git_." He grimaced.

Snape looked directly at Ron. "Might I remind you, Weasley, that I can still hear every word that comes out of your mouth?"

Ron's ears began to turn red.

"And," Snape drew in a breath, "If _someone _does not get us out of here—and soon—I will _personally_ see to it that _every single Weasley _currently attending Hogwarts is expelled."

"Severus," This time it was Lupin who spoke. "It does look like the only way for the two of you to get out of this is mess is to..."

"Absolutely not!" Exclaimed Snape, Tonks, and Sirius simultaneously.

Lupin's mouth twitched. "Well, it doesn't look like there's any other option..."

Snape glared at Tonks. "There is no way in hell."

Tonks raised her hands. "Hey, don't look at me, I'm not exactly jumping up and down at the chance to snog you either."

"Then we'll wait it out."

"Fine."

"Fine."

---Fifteen Minutes Later---

Sirius, Ron, and Harry were glued to the spot, looks of horror frozen on their faces. Remus looked as though he was about to burst into laughter at any minute. Hermione had sat down, and was reading a rather large book.

Tonks looked rather uncomfortable. "I have to pee."

"Hold it." Snape deadpanned.

---Two Hours Later---

"I really have to go." Snape intoned.

"And I don't?" Tonks asked incredulously.

"I have to go to a meeting with _Dumbledore_."

"Oh."

---Three Hours Later---

"Oh, screw it." Snape muttered. He walked up to Tonks, pulled her closer, and gave her a rough kiss. He walked off, exited Grimmauld's Place, slamming the door behind him.

Everyone's jaws dropped to the floor.

Tonks hands flew instinctively to her lips. They still tingled. She could feel her face reddening...the most shocking thing was not that Snape had kissed her. No, it was that he wasn't a bad kisser. In fact...he was surprisingly good.

But it was only under Veritaserum would such a thought be pried from her lips. Some things were better left unsaid.


End file.
